mama-bird:

coffeeandklonopin:

coffeeandklonopin:

carpe diem - seize the day

carpe noctem - seize the night

carpe natem - seize the ass

Seriously, if you guys don’t stop reblogging this I am going to carpe someone’s neck and break it.

carpe collum - seize the neck

(Source: caffeineandcartridges, via consultingtimepilot)

When my mom tells me I should go to bed earlier:

image

(Source: doesitmakemeabetch, via okaymad)

gogglechild:

spaceace8:

idjtits:

spaceace8:

idjtits:

idjtits:

idjtits:

are pears flammable

after 2 hours of trying to set alight to a pear i can condclude they are not flammable

mum: whats that smell
me: burning pears
mum: wha-
me: i tried to set a pear on fire
mum: why
me: science

#It’s science as long as you write it down

image

science

[science clapping] well done friend

you forgot your data table:image

image

(via consultingtimepilot)

lindsaylohoean:

"what’s up?"

"the ceiling"

image

(Source: lindsaylohoean, via heart)

explosions make shit better  

Timestamp: 1410887151

charlottelabouff:

[starfire voice] MY ANACONDA DOES NOT WISH TO PARTAKE

(via oknope)

HEEEEEAAY

Timestamp: 1410879447

chocolaty:

whenever i eat yogurt i stand in front of a mirror and pretend im in a commercial

(via ruinedchildhood)

thymoss:

railroadsoftware:

no one ever says that Rome needed help from aliens to build their empire

#l laughed for days when i found out that #ancient egyptians used water to reduce friction and move blocks for distances #and that this was literally DEPICTED ON THEIR HIEROGLYPHICS #but ~western archaeologists~ #thought that the pouring of water depicted ~superstitious rituals~ #jfc

(via online)

guy:

it’s 2014 and having a valid and logical argument with your parents is still “talking back”

(Source: guy, via ruinedchildhood)

h0odrich:

everything good makes you fat an addict or broke

(via heart)